Fire Emblem Heroes came out this month, and while neither me nor my husband have ever really played a Fire Emblem game before (Felix played The Sacred Stones, but I mean), so we both downloaded it and tried it out.
Suffice it to say that we have now invested more time into the game over the past three days or so than I think we’ve ever invested into a mobile app before in three days. We are obsessed. And the inevitable marketing that this app is meant to provide has worked. I now want to play FE Awaking and Fates incredibly now.
I’d say that most of the appeal that I’ve grown attached to in the game comes from the characters and their variety. There are all kinds of heroes to summon and train, and they all have unique characteristics, making them all worthy of training in one way or another. The variety, however, also stems from the amount of awkwardly sexy men and women (and I mean, girls and boys) you come across in the game. Thus, my husband and I refer to the Fire Emblem series as “The Waifu Simulator,” which, as it happens, actually exists and I don’t recommend anyone look it up.
All Around Best Waifu
I like Cecilia’s design above all else, to be honest. While I don’t know much about the Fire Emblem lore, I know she was involved in Roy’s storyline, and Roy was the first character that I liked in the Fire Emblem series, so I guess it was inevitable that Cecilia be on my favorite list. She’s intelligent, she has great range in the game, and I secretly feel like she would be a massive momma bear. Like, the kind who bakes you cookies, but smacks you for eating them before dinner.
Holy heck. Lucina is such a solid character. She’s really dependable, trustworthy, and you feel like you can rely on her for a lot of things – killing baddies, and maybe cooking you a nice stew. She doesn’t seem the type to cook fancy dinners, but she knows what will fill up a belly really well. Plus those boots!
Most Moe Waifu
Catria was one of the first characters I summoned in the game aside from the default four characters you start out with. I wanted to pick Florina for this category, but one of the first things Felix and I noticed about Catria was that she has the Sailor Mars pose going on, the kind where she has her body twisted in such a way that you can see dat butt. I’m sure there are way more moe poses out there, but I haven’t seen many, so there you go. She’s still one of my favorites, though, and one of my strongest, too.
It seems like the pegasus units always get the most moe units, eh? There were plenty to pick from but I gotta pick my personal favourite, Caeda. She’s the strongest of my pegasus units so far, and plus she rocks that blue hair like nobody’s business (sorry Lucina). On top of that, nothing is more moe than garters for your knee-high socks.
Most Waifu (or Husbando) Material
Frederick is one of the many male characters in the game absolutely laden with thick armor. Yet still, he has the most personality from those I’ve so far been able to summon. He wears a collared shirt with a bow under his armor for God’s sake! Plus, he’s a tank. Hard to take down, and super mobile on his horse. And if he were to ever ask me on a date, I’d probably say yes.
I mean, tits.
Gordin and Gwendolyn
I couldn’t pick between these two, honestly. They’re both so different, yet I love them for the same reason. They’re both adorable. Gordin’s mainly adorable on looks, but Gwendolyn is my only female tank, and she just tries so hard. I love my tanks, I guess.
“If you wish to get my attention…friend…you have it.”
Kudos to whoever was the voice actor for this guy in the game. His sultry tones have made me feel inadequate as a man, and plus his abs just make me insecure about my own sexuality. On top of that he’s just a ridiculously powerful unit, plus his special attack is nuts. Love the man.
Thanks for your patience in this article. Felix and I had a lot of fun writing it. If you haven’t played Fire Emblem Heroes, give it a shot! You’ll find way more characters in the game than just these waifus and husbandos.